


Happy Birthday

by PaperbackGarden



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, dadvid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-04 18:02:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12173934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaperbackGarden/pseuds/PaperbackGarden
Summary: Max celebrates his birthday with his stressed mom and overly cheerful dad.





	1. Chapter 1

It was any other Friday afternoon. I got home from school, dropped my bag on the floor, and made my way upstairs to my bedroom. There was something nagging at the back of my mind that I couldn't quite place, like I was forgetting something important, but I pushed the feeling away, certain that it was probably nothing. I collapsed onto my bed and hardly had a second of peace before my phone rang.   
OHHHHH~  
There's a place I know  
That's tucked away;  
A place where you and I can stay  
Where we can go to-  
"What do you want David?" I asked, reminding myself for the hundreth time to change that ringtone.   
"Gwen and I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday!" David's annoyingly cheery voice answered.   
Oh that's what today is. My birthday.   
"Oh yeah that's today huh. I'm 12 now. Yay me."  
Gwen sighed and said "Max.." but David just ignored my obvious sarcasm. "Got anything planned for today?"  
"Seriously?" I laughed "David it's the twenty first century. Wake up and smell the apathy."  
"You're not doing anything for your twelfth birthday?" David sounded like a kicked puppy. The naive bastard. Why doesn't he get it?  
"Of course not I-" A knock at the door interrupted me "What do you want?"   
My mother opened the door "Who are you talking to?"  
"David."   
"That camp councilor? Again?"  
"He's actually the camp director now, and calm your tits, _he_ called _me_." I rolled my eyes.   
"Max I swear to God I gave birth to you and you don't talk to me this much. I don't know what has gotten into you but-"  
"Chill for five fucking seconds!" I felt the anger building up. Why did she need to pretend to care? "He's calling to wish me a happy birthday, something I'm sure you were planning on doing today too, right mom?" I let all my anger and contempt seep into those last two words. I heard a sharp breath from the other end of the phone.   
"Maxwell I am your mother don't you ever talk to me like that again. I come upstairs to tell you to clean up your shit from the entry-way and you just give me attitude. I cannot believe you!"   
I glared at the woman in my doorway. "Please just do what you're best at and leave me the fuck alone."  
She just glared back. "Gladly." I watched her turn around and walk away, leaving my bedroom door open. I didn't care. If she doesn't why should I?   
"Well that sucked." I say into the phone. "Anyways, I-"  
"We're coming to get you." It was Gwen's voice.   
"What?"   
"We're gonna come get you and celebrate the fuck out of this day."   
"I-"  
"We'll be there in two hours if we drive fast." David added on. "We'll take you somewhere fun!"  
"Probably just Dairy Queen." GWen admitted "We are two broke assholes in their twenties after all. But we'll be there."  
"Soon." David finshed with certainty.   
"Guys..." I tried to argue, but they had already hung up.


	2. Dairy Queen

It was two hours and seventeen minutes later when their car pulled up. Not that I was counting or anything.  
I watched the old, beat up, sorry excuse of a car pull in front of our house and jumped to my feet. As I made my way towards the door I considered telling my parents where I was going. I knew they wouldn't actually care if I went missing, but refusing to tell them would only give them more ammo to use against me.  
"I'm heading out!" I called as I opened the door. No responce. Typical.  
I slammed the door behind me as I walked out. 

"David." I said as I sat in the back seat "Your car smells like glue and pigeon shit."  
"If I remember correctly last summer you glued pigeons to the back seat so I am not at all suprised!" He said without a hint of malice in his voice. How does he do that?  
Gwen sighed from the passanger's seat. "Buckle your seat belt, Max."  
I laughed "Who are you, my mom?" Not that my mom had ever made sure I buckled my seat belt, but still.  
"As of this moment, yes." She answered.  
"Okay then mom," I said, making sure I sounded sarcastic. "Look, I'm buckled!"  
"Great!" David cheered, pulling out into the road "To Dairy Queen!"  
"Yaaaaaay" I said, sounding more bored and fed up than I felt. To be honest with myself, I was actually happy they decided to do this. Not that I would ever tell them that. David would never let me live it down. 

We pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot and climbed out of the car. As we walked towards the front door, I got a good look at David and Gwen. It was weird to see them without their green T-shirts and summer clothes. Part of me had assumed David always wore his camp shirt, even during the school year. The thought of him wearing it to a fromal event where everyone else was dressed nicely made me laugh a little and Gwen and David looked at me.

"Oh God he's planning our murders." Gwen said.  
"Come one Gwen!" David countered "Laughter is a good thing! He can laugh all he wants on his birthday."  
I rolled my eyes and we moved up in line to order.  
"So are you guys paying for this or what?" I asked.  
"Yup!" David said "Anything you want, on the house!"  
Gwen winced at that and I grinned. "Anything?"  
"David..." Gwen warned.  
"Anything." David said with finality.  
Ooh boy he was going to regret that.

"I want a large Royal New York cheesecake blizzard, a large soft drink, a triple chocolate brownie, a hot fudge sundae, a carmel shake, and a fudge stuffed cookie."   
"Huh." Gwen said "That's not as bad as I thought it would be."   
"I'm not a heathen." I replied.   
"You kind of are." 

David payed for our food and drinks and we all sat down to wait. Gwen sighed   
"I can't believe you bought him all those sweets. I don't want to deal with sugar rush Max."   
David laughed "It's the nice thing to do! Max deserves some sweetness in his life!"   
"You're an idiot." Gwen laughed.  
"Hey guys?" I said with my best smug-little-shit grin "Quit with the flirting you'll make me barf."   
I realized my mistake when they met eyes and grinned even smugger shittier grins than my own.   
"David, you are so excitable. It's like a cute puppy!"  
"Why Gwen! You are looking beautiful today!"   
"Stop!" I said, laughing "just make out or something! Anything but this!"   
Gwen opened her mouth but was cut off by our number being called with our food. Thank God. 

As I eyed my pile of sweets, I regretted my life choices just a bit. There was no way in hell I would be able to eat all this.   
But damn did I try.   
I made it through all the things that would melt, but gave up afterwards.   
"All full, Max?" David asked.   
"I'm saving the rest for later." I said. There was a pause before I asked "So are you guys gonna take me home now?"  
David shook his head. "We passed a park on the way here and I thought it would be a good place to give you your presents!"   
"My presents?"   
"Of course! Come on!" He stood up and started towards the door, Gwen right behind him. I rolled my eyes and followed the dorks.


	3. Presents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:   
> Thank you so much for commenting on this. Hearing how much people like this really makes my day. It actually motivated me enough to crank out one more chapter before bed :)

I followed David and Gwen to the park and sat with them under the shade of a large tree. David pulled off his backpack and began to pull some poorly wrapped gifts out of it.   
"Okay!" He said excitedly "This one's from me-" He held up a longer meduim sized one "-and this one is from Gwen." He held up a smaller one. "Which do you want to open first?"   
"Well I'd rather not see your head expolde with excitment, and it sure as hell seems like a possibilty right now, so yours."   
David passed the longer one over, looking ready to squeal.   
"I feel like a little kid." I said, pulling at the wrapping paper.  
"You are a little kid." Gwen pointed out.   
I sighed and finished unwrapping the present. When I saw what it was my brain went blank. The combination sentiment and cringe left me speechless.   
"A guitar?" I asked.   
"I thought I could teach you to play!" David said, his voice hopeful "Of course I got you a small size that works for you now so later you'll need a new one but- er- Do you like it?"  
The prospect of David teaching me to play this thing made me want to burst into tears for a number of conflicting reasons. It was irritating.   
"Yeah. I like it. Thanks David."   
He beamed at me and I made a point of rolling my eyes so he could see. "I hope yours isn't as cheesy Gwen."   
She just grinned and passed me the gift. I tore it opened and laughed "What the fuck is this?" I asked, holding up a tiny blue sweater.   
"I thought you and your teddy bear could match." She said.   
"Eat shit, Gwen." I said, still laughing. God was dorky presents. I couldn't have expected any less.   
"Wait a second..." I turned to David "How did you fit a guitar in your backpack?"   
"It's not a full sized guitar and my bag is big." David said "Also the author of this fanfiction is lazy."   
"Hey Max?" Gwen asked suddenly, her face twisting up in a cruel smile "Are you ticklish?"   
I found myself scooting away from her "No." I sounded to defensive. Shit.   
"Sure okay. I totally believe you..." And then she lunged.   
I was up and running in a second. I could hear David and Gwen laughing in pursuit. Fow a few minutes it was a chase, but they have longer legs and soon caught up with me.   
I wish I could have said I went down with dignity, but that simply is not the case. I went down in a fit of giggles and shouts for them to stop as my dignity was stripped from me in tickles. I was laughing so hard I was crying by the time they stopped.   
"I hate you guys." I said, still laughing. 

As we walked back to the car, Gwen and David began to talk about taking me home.   
"Or," I interjected "We could go see a movie."   
"I dunno Max," David said, looking bummed "It's getting late, your par-um, we don't want you in trouble. Besides, Gwen and I need money for the car ride home."   
"My parents don't care when I get home." I said "And I can pay for the movie. C'mon guys. For my birthday?"   
They shared a glance. "Alright." David said finally "A movie and then we're done."   
Yeah. Right. No. I was having fun for once and planned to milk this for all it was worth.


	4. Movies

We walked from the park to the car as a group. I was walking right between Gwen and David with a guitar and a tiny-ass sweater. It was strange, we sure as hell weren't the most normal looking or acting bunch, but it felt more normal than really anything else. I was probably just being overly sentimental. 

I climbed into the back seat. David turned to look at me.   
"I'm not starting the car until you buckle your seat belt."  
"Again with the seat belt?" I asked "Fine okay." I buckled in and David drove away.   
The theater wasn't far, and soon we were in line to buy tickets. Gwen and David discussed what to watch, but I didn't actually care.   
"What about the Emoji Movie? That sounds fun!"   
"No." Gwen said. "Absolutely not."   
They kept arguing for a while but eventually settled on the new Spiderman movie. We walked up to the counter.  
"Two adults one kid for Spiderman." David said.   
"Twenty five dollars."  
i reached into my pocket, pulled out a wad of cash, and started counting.  
"Where did you get all that?" Gwen asked.   
"I have my ways." I said with a shrug, handing over twenty five. Gwen looked at David like she expected him to do something, but he just grinned and handed her a ticket.   
We bought popcorn and took our seats.   
I had planned fully and completely to be an obnoxious brat during this movie. I figured something Gwen and David picked would be plenty cheesey and easy to make fun off, but no, this was actually pretty good. WHen the credits began to roll, David stood up.   
"Where are you going?" I asked "We have to wait until the end."  
"What?" David asked.   
Gwen and I looked at him, then each other.   
"It's a Marvel movie." I said simply "Sit your ass down."   
He did as he was told. As the credits rolled I thought more about the movie we just watched. It wasn't a sub-par drama romance, and it wasn't a cartoon or stupid comedy. Part of me guessed that maybe David secretly liked superheroes but his trying to leave before the credits were over proved that false.   
"Why did we watch this?" I asked them, confused.   
David grinned at me "It seemed like something a twelve year old boy would want to see!"   
"Yeah I hated it." Gwen said "Not my thing."   
"I liked it, but it was a bit serious." David said with a shrug "But we figured you'd enjoy it."   
I had no clue how to respond to that.   
Luckily, the post-credits scene started and after that we left. 

"So where to now?" I asked.   
"Max it's 10:45." Gwen said "We should be-"  
"Because there's this river nearby that's really nice in the evening and seems like a cool spot to learn the guitar." I said, looking at David.  
His eyes got wide and he turned to Gwen. "Pleeeeeaaaase?"   
She sighed "David open your eyes. The mini demon is just trying to make this last as long as possible so he doesn't have to go h-" She paused and looked at me. I shrugged at her, trying to look like I didn't give a shit.   
"Actually yeah let's go to that river." She said finally. David cheered. I let out a sigh of relief.   
The relief was quickly discared when I realized I had suggested guitar lessons.


	5. Guitars and other things

We climbed back into the car and drove towards the river. I put on my seatbelt before they could get on my case about it. As we drove along, Gwen kept leaning over to David and whispering to him. Sometimes they'd glance back at me.  
"So what's the secret?" I asked after the third time.  
"Nothing!" They both said, sounding way too guilty. 

We got to the river and clambered out of the car. Gwen checked her phone and nodded. "You guys go play your guitars. I'm going to run some errands with the car."  
"Can do Gwen!" David said a bit too quickly and cheerfully, even for him.  
David grabbed his guitar from the trunk and I pulled my new one out of the back seat.  
"See you in a bit!" David said as Gwen pulled away. We watched her go and I turned to David.  
"Seriously. What's going on?"  
"Nothing for you to worry about!" David said "Let's just play some music!"  
I groaned but followed him to the side of the river. 

The next hour went by much quicker than I expected it to. David's constant optimism was annoying, but made it impossible to stop attempting until I got it right. The guy seemed to be enjoying himself too, and after all he did for me I owed him at least this.  
That being said, I have never swore so much in one hour in my life. Music is fucking hard.  
"You'll get it eventually Max." He said calmly after a particularly bad mistake followed by many loud obscenities.  
"You keep saying that but we've been at this for over an hour!" I said angerly. "I might as well just give up."  
He opened his mouth but his phone buzzed. Normally, David forgets to check his phone when talikng to people, but this time he shut his mouth and checked the text. A grin widened over his face.  
"Max, I promise you that if you keep trying and don't give up, things will improve. And I can prove it."  
"Yeah?" I asked, crossing my arms "How so?"  
I could see David trying hard to contain his excitement. "You'll see pretty soon here. Just give me a second." He sent a text and waited. His phone buzzed again and grinned at the answer he got.  
"David I swear to God I will fucking steal that phone and read the texts myself."  
"Okay okay." He said "I was just asking Gwen if she wanted to be here for your last present."  
"My last present?" Now I was curious "What is it?"  
"Well..." he said, looking unsure. It was a strange expression on David's face. "You don't have to accept, okay?"  
"Alright?" I said.  
"And if you change your mind there will be no hard feelings."  
"David." I said, sounding much calmer than I felt "Spit it out."  
"Well Max... what if I offered... I mean you clearly had fun toady so..." He took a deep breath "What if I told you that you never have to go home again?"


	6. Oh shitfuck

"What do you mean never go home again?" I asked slowly, trying to ignore the pounding in my chest.  
"Well your current parents..." David paused, searching for wording that wasn't rude "...They aren't people who's life choices most people would agree with."  
"They're assholes."  
David sighed "Yeah basically. And Max, you seemed so happy today. Gwen and I want you to be happy like this all the time. I know I annoy you sometimes but I hope you'll take into consideration coming to stay with me for a while? Until you graduate or until you get fed up, it's your choice. We want you to be happy."  
"You're..." I took a deep breath. Keep your shit together Max "You're offering to have me live with you?"  
"If you want to."  
I took another deep breath. My heart was racing at the idea but I had to squash the hope "My parents are stubborn and sore loosers. They wouldn't let someone else have me. It doesn't matter that I don't actually mean anything to them; they won't back down."  
"Max," David said with a smile. "they already did." He laughed "Gwen texted me from your house. She put the fear of God into them."  
It took a second before I remembered how to breathe. David just smiled. "Come on. Let's go get your stuff, and then we can all go home." 

The front door of my house was open when we arrived. We walked in and I saw them.  
My mom was sitting with her back ridged and straight, trying hard to keep her composure. My father on the other hand leaned against the wall smoking and glowering at me.  
Gwen was drinking my mom's favorite wine. I almost laughed, but my father's eyes glaring into my soul stopped me.  
David cleared his throat "Thank you so much for letting us-"  
"Save it camp boy." My father said. "The less we hear from you the better."  
My mom sighed dramatically "Dear..." she chided, pretending to be the morally high one.  
"I-" my voice caught in my throat and I tried again "I'm gonna go get my stuff."  
"Sure." My father said "Go get your stuff so you can leave the people who raised you behind. All we ever did was try to give you a sense of independence and a good place to live, but no. Go live with these fucks. I'm sorry we didn't constantly feed into your shallow ego like they do!"  
I bit down on my bottom lip. I refuse to shout or scream or cry now. No way.  
Gwen and David both looked ready to defend me, but my father cut them off "Oh please, let me say some last things. God only knows he'll be living with you for the rest of your lives. You have all the time in the world to fight for him when he could be defending himself." He turned his attention back to me "Speaking of fighting, you act like your mother and I are the worst things that ever happened to you, and led these young idiots to believe it too, but all you ever do is give us attitude. Maybe your life wouldn't suck so much if you stopped convincing yourself it does! So go, be free. I tried to raise you right but you refused to see it."  
Tears welled in my eyes. My voice wouldn't work. I had gotten so good at narrowly avoiding my father's rage that I forgot how much these rants cut.  
Then David stepped forward.  
My father laughed "Being all brave now, are we, well-"  
"Dad, he's not worth it!" I said, a bit louder than I meant to. Everyone turned to look at me.  
"I told you to never call me that." My father growled.  
I crossed my arms defiantly. "I wasn't talking to you, _sir_."  
There was a long pause as everyone stared at me in shooked silence. I took a deep breath and my voice came out quieter this time "He's not worth it, David. I'm gonna go get my stuff." And I turned and walked up the stairs.  
I managed to keep from bursting into tears until after I closed my bedroom door.


	7. Let's go home

I dumped out my backpack of school work and began to stuff it with my clothes and other essentials. Tears streamed down my face but I ignored them. I could worry about how pathetic I was being after I was long gone from this place. Shouts traveled up the stairs.  
"He's a barely fucking twelve! Who in their right mind talks to a kid like that?"  
It was Gwen's voice. She was talking too fast and angerly to give my parents anytime to defend themselves. Well, at that point they weren't my parents anymore, but still.  
I paused when I heard David's voice.  
"I wish we could have gotten here sooner. I'm going to go help Max pack."  
I quickly wipped the tears off my face, sitting on my bed and hastily trying to regain my composure. David opened my bedroom door a second later, to me still trying to get the tears out of my eyes. He sat on my bed next to me.  
"Got everything?" He asked after a moment of quiet. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. He glanced at me and sighed.  
"What assholes." He said finally. A small, half laugh half sob escaped from me.  
"Come on." He said, standing up, "Let's go home."

We left without saying another word to the people who raised me. I kept my arms wrapped around Mr. Honeynuts, who was wearing his new sweater. I felt ridiculous with my teddy bear but frankly you could not have paid me to give a shit. Gwen offered to drive but David reminded her that she had downed quite a bit of my mom's best wine out of spite. She informed him that she wasn't drunk, but climbed into the passanger's seat anyways. I tried to climb in the back seat but Gwen tapped my shoulder.  
"Do you want to sit with me in the front?"  
I attempted my best smug-little-shit grin, though it probably looked pained based on how I was feeling. "But Gwen, saftey is important. We need to buckle our seat belts."  
She rolled her eyes. "We'll make it work. Get up here."  
I ended up on halfway on her lap, and even though I complained a lot, I didn't actually care. It was nice to sit so close to people who care.  
It was nice to be so close to my new family.  
The reality of that thought set in and it felt like a massive weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was almost midnight and the emotional trauma of the day hit me like a truck. I fell asleep before we even left town.

When I woke I was still very tired. Someone was carrying me to a house I didn't recognize. I was so tired, but I could tell who's arms I was in.   
I mention how tired I was, because the only words out of my face were "Love you dad."   
And the last words I heard before passing out again were "Love you too Max."


	8. Seven Years Later

"I can pick you up  
When you're heading down  
When it all just sucks  
I'll be your Charlie Brown  
You can make me laugh  
When I wanna cry  
In a world gone mad  
We're on an all time high"  
I was interrupted by my phone buzzing. I set my guitar to the side and picked up, wincing at the time. I was late.  
**-New Text from Team Trouble Trio-**  
Nikki: Heyo!!! Happy birthday dork-lord! Hope college is fun :P  
Neil: Happy birthday Max! Sorry your present is late.  
Neil: I was typing at the same time as her. I didn't forget.  
What? Do they run on some type of hive-mind? I shook my head and laughed at the prospect. Neil was so busy these days I wouldn't have blamed him for forgetting.  
Max: Can't talk now. I'm going to dairy queen,  
Nikki: DQ? Why the hell are you going there?  
Max: It's tradition. Talk to you dorks later.  
Neil: Tell David and Gwen hi for us! 

I put my phone in my pocket and started walking on my way to celebrate both my birthday and the anniversary of finally moving in with David.  
They try to throw a big party every year, but nothing is ever going to match up to when I turned twelve.  
After all, as cheesey as it sounds, the best gift is love.  
And all you can eat at Dairy Queen.  
Especially all you can eat at Dairy Queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At that's the end! Thank you so much for reading my dorky little fanfiction. This was supposed to take all week, but with all the positive feedback I got back I couldn't stop writing.  
> I might write another fanfiction that takes place while Max is getting adjusted to living with David, since I had so much fun writing this one.  
> God I watched all of Camp Camp in two days and wrote an entire fanfic in two days. Someone stop me I'm going to be selling my sould by the end of the week. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading and leaving kudos! Also, to those of you who left comments; you make my day. I did a happy dance after reading them.  
> I'm sounding repetative but thank you thank you thank you!  
> Bye!


End file.
